Oh, No She Didn't

My boys are two and three. I think they are really cute, but then again I am their mom. Not that I'm cute, but I'm sure every mom thinks their kid is cute. Most mothers don't even know when their child unpleasant to look at. You know the type! I digress.

What I want to talk about is these little fast ass girls running around here wanting to be girlfriends with my boys!

A few days ago I was in the loft which is right off the boy’s playroom. They had a friend over. For the sake of argument and anonymity we will call her SassyAss. This is what I overheard:

SassyAss: C'mon, Noah. Let's play boyfriend and girlfriend!

Noah: Okay!

So I walk-run over to the playroom, calmly stick my head in and say, "Hey guys! Whatchadoin’?”

Noah: "Oh, we are just playing boyfriend and girlfriend"

Me: "Reeeaaalllly? How do you play that game, what do boyfriend and girlfriends do?"

Noah: "They play with toys together and give hugs, mommy!" He said with a tinge of 'like, duh'

Me: "Okay, well why dong we play knights or pirates instead?

SassyAss: "Um, that's okay. C'mon Noah, let's play husband and wife instead."

Okay, so now I am like WTF? This little heifer has her sights on my boy! I had this overwhelming urge to run and grab him and protect him from her and every other little wicked city woman that they ever encounter! It was almost too much to bear. But, I kept it cool.

Me: “Well then, tell me what husband and wives do?’

Noah: “They take naps together and they sleep together at night time and they give hugs…” He said using the same ‘like duh’ tone.

Me: “Oh, okay. How would you guys like to have a snack?”

Noah: “Okay!”

Noah: “I’ll race you!” as he pushed SassyAss and ran downstairs! Leaving SassyAss to pick herself up off the floor. Ah! Life is good!

You may think the moral of this story is to beware of those fast ass little girls that prey on your sons!

NO!

The moral of the story is: The way to a boy’s heart is through his stomach!